


I Know

by gonta_gokuhara_lover



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Attempted Murder, Emotional Hurt, Fear, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Older Armin Arlert, Older Eren Yeager
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:34:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29952795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gonta_gokuhara_lover/pseuds/gonta_gokuhara_lover
Summary: Armin is instructed to kill Eren . He can't do it .
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	I Know

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry lol .

" Please , Eren , I don't want to do this , " Armin's voice wavers . His blade is drawn , held close to the neck of the man he speaks to , who says nothing . He just watches the blonde , as if he were unbothered by the whole situation . Armin's blood rushes past his ears , and he can hear it . 

They're at a stalemate , a little bit . Armin's orders ring around in his brain like alarm bells . He can't return without Eren's head . And yet , he isn't strong enough to do it . Levi is too injured to do it , Mikasa outright refused and threatened anyone who dared to take the task on , and Hange said that it had to be him . He's the only one who can get close enough to Eren without immediate cause for concern . 

They stay like that for minutes that feel like eons . Eren nearly looks bored of it all , just staring through the blonde boy . In his head , all he can see is that same weak boy Armin had always been . Armin feels like him too . 

" Are you going to kill me ? "

It's a serious question . It would sure throw a wrench into Eren's plans , and put a damper on their relationship , but if push comes to shove he's not afraid to fight back against the boy he spent so long trying to protect . Something tells him it won't get to that point . 

" I don't want to , " Armin repeats . His eyes close , he doesn't want to look Eren in the face anymore . It hurts . " I don't want to . "

Eren believes him . Wholeheartedly , actually . He believes him like he always has . Armin is many things , and a liar isn't one of them . It's a difference between them that they always seem to notice at the worst of times . 

" Then don't , " He suggests . Seems perfectly logical to him . Armin shakes his head , but still makes no move to actually cut him . The blade shakes with either nerves or the stress on the blonde's arms from holding it in position so long . Eren could easily move out of the way , continue on with his life . But he wants to see . He wants to know how far Armin is willing to go for this guilt he holds . 

Never far enough . Armin always knew he'd get left behind somewhere . 

" I'm sorry , " He says . " I can't go back if I don't , " With less confidence . Quieter . He's mulling over the decision in his head , and Eren can see the wheels turn . 

" Stay with me , then . "

Stay with him . Like they were kids , promising to see something impossible together . Armin wishes they could go back to it . Back when life was easier and didn't scare him so much . His lip trembles and his eyes wet , followed by the skin of his cheeks . Suddenly his Titan marks seem that much more hollow . 

He looks as frail as he feels . Eren almost looks softer for a moment . 

" I - I can't , Eren . You know I can't . "

He does . 

" But you want to . "

He does . 

So badly , in fact , that his blade now rests on top of Eren's shoulder instead of poised at his neck . Armin's finger isn't around the trigger anymore , and his fingers aren't steady . Eren distantly remembers how Erwin never shook like that . He knows Armin is trying to keep up , to copy . To please knowing that he would be dead without that sacrifice . 

He looks fragile again , like they were children . 

For a moment they're the teenagers they once were , looking each other in the eyes . Eren reaches forward to touch Armin's hair . The cut reminds him of Erwin . He knows it's on purpose . Armin leans into the touch , barely . So softly that it might have been a trick of the mind , unintentional . 

The sword drops away . 

" I'm sorry , " He says . 

" I know . "

" I'm so sorry . "

It's this breaking point that Eren is reminded of his cause . He knows himself to be true as Armin shakes so hard he can barely stand upright , and he knows it to be just when Armin cries against his shoulder like they had so many times before . Automatically his arms wrap around the boy , still smaller than himself . The thought makes him smile a little . 

" I don't want it to be like this . Please , " Armin asks . Even though the request isn't there , Eren can hear him ask him to stop . He shakes his head . 

" I'm sorry . "

He means it . 

" I miss you , Eren . "

He means it . 

" I know . "

They stand like that for a while , in their stalemate . There are no more words spoken for then , since there were no more words to say . Armin is colder than Eren remembers him ever being before . He supposes it has something to do with the Titan dwelling inside him . 

The Titan he never wanted . 

" Stay with me , " The offer is extended again . Armin shakes a little harder . 

" You know I can't . "

Eren knows that he's only trying to convince himself . 

" You want to . "

" More than anything . "

Eren puts his chin atop Armin's head , just to get him that much closer . Armin can hear his heartbeat . Slow , slower than he's ever heard it before . 

" Do you regret any of this ? "

" Only you , " Is Eren's answer . " Only losing you . Please , stay with me . " This time it's less of an order and more of a plea . 

" I want to . "

" I know . "

" I can't . "

" I know . "

" I'm sorry . "

" I know . "

Eren has started to feel like a broken record . 

" Where do you think I should go ? " Armin asks . The Paradis team won't let him back unless he returns with the danger's head . The blonde had known the moment they asked that he couldn't kill Eren no matter how hard he tried . He wanted to . 

" Don't go anywhere , " Eren tells him softly . Stay where you are . With me . 

Armin gives in . 

" Okay . I don't want you to do this anymore , " He tries . Desperate for any sort of calm away from the storm Eren seems to generate around him . 

" I know . I'm sorry . "

" I know . "


End file.
